Friday, 28 August 2015

Let's Roleplay: BET + MTV2

In an earlier post, I commented on the overlap between the BET Networks and MTV's urban music channels: MTV2 and MTV Jams. I also forgot to talk about BET's low-budget presentation: what with its lack of original series, the poor promotion of upcoming events, and asinine graphics which cuts out the ending to a show and can even take up 1/3 of the screen! But now that I have, let's get back on topic. Viacom networks are all in the middle of a transition, a metamorphosis of sorts, the most recognizable being Spike and TV Land's re-brands. Now, if any other network is in need of a makeover right now, it's BET.

Ever since 106 & Park came to an end, the only thing keeping people from changing channels was BET's scripted series and special events like the BET Awards. They come for those shows, but once they're finished, they head back to greener pastures, since they've already watched Life twenty times and can watch The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, without commercials or irritating bugs, on Netflix.

Meanwhile, MTV2 is scoring record ratings.. on its own channel because, up until now, nobody watched their channel, not even for Bellator. Thanks to the popularity of Wild n' Out and Guy Code, they've begun producing better, sensible, more notable shows. A lot better than most of the crap MTV makes. Unfortunately, said shows are never around for more than 10 episodes; meaning all MTV2 really has to offer is reruns of MTV shows already airing on the main network, syndicated sitcoms that you've already seen on another channel, and really crappy movies. It's pointless to remind you, but isn't this supposed to be the MTV network that's actually about music?

Here's my solution: a merger. I purpose we shut down MTV2 (and MTV Jams) and let BET be the hip-hop network; like how CMT is the country network, and VH1 is the "adult" music network. Since virtually every show on MTV2 not named Guy Code & Wild n' Out hasn't lasted more than a season, and most of BET's new programming are just cheap reality shows, I believe we should incorporate MTV2's programming into BET's lineup. Hell, with their reboot of Punk'd, they've already starting taking MTV shows as their own anyway. MTV2 and BET both target the same age range, the demographics are different, but you'd wouldn't know that since they both air the same damn sitcoms.

At this point, the only reason why MTV2 (and BET Hip-Hop) exists is to drive profits for Viacom, to the point where if just one of their networks aren't on cable or satellite, none of them are. I still wonder what kind of strategy that is; if the provider doesn't want to carry their channel, it's probably because it's a piece of shit...or because said provider was DirecTV. It's as if everything, everything, from the cancellation of TRL to the launch of NickMom, was for no other reason but to cut costs and drive ratings. That's fine, but what's the point if it ends up damaging established brands and turns away viewers, since the network they used to love has become a shadow of its former self? Now that the cord cutting revolution has begun, Viacom is desperate to milk as many cows as they can before they, and other companies, are reduced to the same level playing field.

Of course, just shutting down worthless channels isn't a sound business strategy, not if they can still be revamped. MTV2 could still shift back towards actual music programming, and leave non-music programming to MTV1. Of course that's about as likely as Oxygen making a reality show that isn't a trashy piece of shit (Too soon?). Instead of milking dust, what I'm proposing will give those chumps at Viacom a fresh new cow to process. After all, what's the point of keeping around channels if you're not going to put in the effort to make them stand out; if all you're going to do is stick with a few exclusive shows and fill the rest of the schedule with rehashed shit? At least NBC was able to figure that shit out!

...Oh dear lord, Viacom really is the American Bell Media: twice the money, double the stupidity. Prey for BET, folks. Prey.

Thursday, 27 August 2015

Fall 2015: The Full Package

CTV
http://www.ctv.ca/TheCTVInsider/Articles/News/More-Better-CTV%E2%80%99s-2015-2016-Schedule-Revealed.aspx

Global picked the wrong season to dump Sleepy Hollow, they could have benefited from that show's crossover with Bones later this season. Not to mention, who watches CTV Two? If I had any problems with CTV's lineup this year, its that it's owned by Bell Media. 

My Picks for CTV and CTV Two this season are Blood & Oil, The Goldbergs, Gotham, Lucifer, the Arrowverse (Arrow, The Flash, Legends of Tomorrow), Sleepy Hollow, and Best Night Ever.


Global
http://www.shawmedia.ca/Media/PressReleaseDetail.aspx?pressReleaseId=6442462338

When Shaw Media said CTV "showed them the way", they weren't kidding; just look at that schedule. From CBS, co-owners of The CW, and the people who brought you the Arrowverse comes Supergirl. Hopefully this show won't get screwed like Constantine was last year. Thanks, NBC. Meanwhile, on that same network, Heroes is making a comeback in the form of Heroes: Reborn. Thank you, NBC! It's gonna be a homecoming on both sides of the border, since Global also aired the original series back in the day. Hmm? Do you notice anything else different about this lineup? 

My picks for Global are Supergirl, Heroes, The Blacklist and Elementary (aka the best things to happen to crime dramas, ever).


City

City has a whole lotta FOX to give this year. From returning series like The Last Man on Earth, The Mindy Project & Bob's Burgers, to newcomers like Scream Queens and the Grinder. Also, Bordertown. They also got The Muppets, Rush Hour, Empire (which will move from Omni 2) and CBC's Mr. D. Speaking of Canadian shows, Sunnyside is back this fall (Yay!) and so is Hockey Night in Canada. Overall, a huge improvement from last year's barebone offerings.

My picks for City this year are Scream Queens, The Grinder, The Muppets, Rush Hour, Sunnyside, and Empire.


CBC 

I don't really watch CBC all that much since Republic of Doyle ended, so please excuse me if I cut to the chase. My picks this year are Young Drunk Punk, courtesy of City; Murdoch Mysteries, also courtesy of City, by legacy; Still Standing, Jekyll and Hyde, 22 Minutes, and the Rick Mercer Report.


CHCH

After going who knows where (M3?), Supernatual is back where it belongs, and it joins fellow CW series The Originals. I'm a little disappointed that they didn't pick up more series from the CW, because they're definitely not the broadcast equivalent to MTV anymore. Also new this fall are Rosewood and Nashville, which might have aired on a previous network, but I don't really care all that much to look into it. 

CHCH is truly an alternative for those who are two low-brow for CBC, yet don't find anything on the other networks all that appealing. That being said, I have to ask. Seriously, more reruns? Surely they could have aired a movie on Friday instead, since it's nothing but reruns. In fact, since movies saved this station, they should be airing more of those instead! However, CHCH is owned by a small company, a company that's launching a Canadian Bloomberg channel this year, so it's probably for the best to play it safe for now.

My picks for CHCH are Supernatural, Rosewood, and Canada's own The Pinkertons!

There you have it folks, set your PVRs!

Wednesday, 26 August 2015

Oxygen Media: Why Does It Still Exist?

When Style Network was replaced with Esquire Network, I questioned why NBCUniversial didn't shut down Oxygen as well. Unlike E! (which focuses on pop culture and entertainment) and Bravo (which focuses on fashion and...pop culture?), Oxygen is more of a general-interest channel. That means they can air programming that its siblings can't, like Olympic coverage.

However, because of it's lack of exclusive programming, Oxygen is almost nothing but syndicated TV series and shows recycled from it's siblings; the only exclusive show they have out their entire acquired slate are reruns of America's Next Top Model. However, its original shows aren't much help either: while Snapped has been syndicated to other crappy networks like LMN and REELZ, every other reality show they've ever produced has been overshadowed by their flagship series, The Bad Girls Club, a show so horrible it makes The Real Housewives look tame.

As I said in an earlier post, I don't base my opinions on ratings and demographic charts, I based my opinions on simply watching television. When I watch a TV channel, first and foremost, I expect to see shows I haven't already seen on another cable network. When you compare Oxygen to Lifetime, not only does the latter have more original content than acquired, said original content is a lot more notable, and watchable, then anything on the former.

Oxygen is almost worthless as a cable network, far more so than WE TV. The only people who find value in its existence is NBCUniversal, which makes it bittersweet to know that they are still trying to turn dust into diamonds with this channel. Even down south, people would rather watch Hulu than anything on TV these days. So NBC better work hard to bring Oxygen up to the same standard that E! and Bravo are held to in their portfolio. They should have did something different with this channel; target a different demo, find different programming, anything but the same old shit we've seen everywhere else.

Then again, maybe you'd be better off watching WE.

Tuesday, 25 August 2015

Why Do Moviegoers Always Pull This Shit?!

You know, there is something really wrong with the world if Hitman: Agent 47, a movie that we all knew was gonna suck, still made more money than something like Amercian Ultra. Sure, the critical dissonance over the Need for Speed movie gave the slight hope that non-Japanese movie adaptions of video games were finally getting better, but be realistic. Need for Speed had no plot to adapt; the positive reviews from that film just means the plot that they thew together was either good enough, or not terrible enough, for people to say "Well, at least it was better than King of Fighters."

No, I don't think "original ideas are over", I think there are far too many rich kids out there who spend a lot of money on shit, or just haven't learned their lesson yet. For example, how did the Resident Evil and Transformers film franchises get so many sequels, when they didn't even deserve one? The answer: movie goers kept throwing money at them, when they should have been throwing stones. If you didn't like the first movie, why the fuck would you pay money to see the sequel?

At least Twilight has the excuse of being an adaption by an equally crappy book loved by fans worldwide, but these other movies have no excuse. These sequels and reboots should have been produced on mockbuster budgets and sold in bargin bins. If they were truly terrible films, they should not be making that much green. There are really only two logical explanations: either there are millions of idiots with too much money on their hands, and just as much free time, to do with it; or, there is actually a market and audience for these so-called adaptions, a safe-heaven for those who love guilty pleasures, and those who couldn't create a decent movie to save their life. Or, in Michael Bay's case, a decent adaption, speaking of critical dissonance...

In all seriousness, people, the only films that should have this much luck are the films by Friedberg and Seltzer, their films are cheap enough that they can keep making more despite critical mauling. There is something wrong really wrong with the world if Hitman: Agent 47 made more money than something like Amercian Ultra, and guess what? It's you. Stop spending money on crap!

...And yes, stones, not popcorn; don't waste food.

Monday, 24 August 2015

The Big Comeback (And Others)!

When I heard from SmashingTheNew that Young Justice, the greatest superhero hero show since Batman: TAS, was making a comeback, I though he was on something. Then, I actually did some research and found out that, almost two years since its cancellation, the campaign to #RenewYoungJustice is still going strong. That hashtag was actually trending this past weekend! Sadly, what STN thought was a renewal, planned for December of this year, turned out to be a hoax. Seriously, first Bloody Roar, then Crash Banidcoot (for the umpteenth time), and now this! Am I just doomed to hear nothing false hopes for franchises deserving of a revival?

Apparently not, because something else was making headlines this month: SWAT-Kats! There are no words to describe this show, other than it being criminally short-lived. SWAT-Kats, and everything else on Boomerang at the time, gave me new respect for the classics. Big shock, there was a Kickstarter campaign for a sequel series - "SWAT Kats: Revolution" (yeah, it's generic, but just roll with it, will you?) - which reached $141,500. That means, at the very least, we'll get a teaser.

Now, I won't be greedy, if I can't have a third season of Young Justice, I'll take SWAT-Kats. After all, we got reboots and comebacks up the butt. Ben 10 and The Powerpuff Girls are getting reboots, ReBoot is getting a reboot (That joke will never get old), a new Mega Man series is in the works and, on the east side, Speed Racer is coming back. Yes, the iconic series, originally known as Mach GoGoGo, is finally being released uncut.

So now we just have to sit and wait for actual substance from these announcements to appear. As Square-Enix taught me, announcing something is very different from actually doing something. ...Then again, I tend to do that a lot myself.

Wednesday, 19 August 2015

Black Entertainment Television - Do They Really Got Me?

In the months since the end of 106 & Park, I feel BET has gone downhill in the programming department. In the wake of The Game's final season, leaving Real Husbands of Hollywood and Being Mary Jane as the only scripted series, it looks like the network is going back to making forgettable reality shows. I'll admit, Nellyville had just the right amount of comedy and drama to keep me watching, at least when nothing better was on, but I just can't see it as anything else but filler. For the record, I don't hate reality shows, nor do I think of them as guilty pleasures. It's just that the sheer amount of cookie-cutting crap on TV these days makes me grateful that they brought back Punk'd.

I think the biggest problem with BET is that it relies too much on DVD movies and syndicated sitcoms, but especially the movies; don't get me started on the amount of times I've seen "Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins" and "Life" being played. Even worse, after Centric's rebrand, damn near all of BET's syndicated shows moved to that network; the ones that didn't are played rather frequently on MTV and MTV2.

You'd think BET would be able to balance it out with their original programming, but when an original show does air, it's almost always from the current season, not the past seasons. This is especially jarring when The Game sits at over 140 episodes, yet BET doesn't even find time to air The CW-produced seasons anymore. Granted, BET doesn't order a lot of episodes, and quality will always triumph over quantity, but it would be nice to see something different for a change.

Instead, viewers are stuck with the same movies over and over again, unless you live in Canada, in which case, you're stuck with the same music videos over and over again. Yeah, did I mention that certain programs on BET are, excuse the pun, blacked out due to programming rights? Even shows from a sibling network, especially if it's available in Canada (Spike), will be blocked. When such programming airs, Canadian viewers are treated to reruns of BET Now and The Pull-Up: old music video blocks. Not old as in the 90s, old as in "contemporary songs from only a few years ago". Needless to say, it gets repetitive after a while. Thank god for FEVA TV!

I'd like to believe that all of these problems are a result of Viacom spreading themselves too thin. If BET still aired gospel and hip-hop videos, rather than just shunt them off to spin-off channels that no one will watch (nor will cable providers want to pick up), they wouldn't have to air the same damn movies over and over again. They already have MTV Jams anyway, and it would be a cheap, yet refreshing, change of pace in a world without 106 & Park and Bobby Jones Gospel. Besides, with Vevo TV Flow and other internet-based services, I can get my fix without a cable subscription.

Furthermore, if MTV2 is only good for reruns and crappy movies (No seriously, the movies they air CRAP!), instead of shows related to hip-hop and rock music, then it should have been shut down long after Sucker Free got cancelled. With their crappy ratings, MTV1 can benefit from the gender-balanced audience MTV2's programming brings. It's not like any original show on MTV2 not named Wild 'n Out or Guy Code will make it past 26 episodes anyway, not even the reboot of Celebrity Deathmatch is safe.

Ultimately, in their current state, targeting a younger demo will not change BET's fortunes; it just makes the competition look better. I don't believe the network is in any trouble because, right now, change is happening all across Viacom's networks. That being said, I do believe it's time for a change at BET. They say they got me, but I got better networks to watch.

Sunday, 16 August 2015

Summer is Almost Over... (August 2015 Update)

I've been having second thoughts about Aile x Opal lately, especially since I've started making SSB4 machinima. At the suggestion of someone at GorillaGong, I was going to use voice actors for the series but, surprise, barely anyone auditioned. So screw it, from now on, I'll stick to what I know: bad voice acting and subtitles.

I haven't gotten started on the next episode yet, because I was already working on Reycralibur, episode thirteen. Really, I just don't have any ideas for future episodes, at least not ones that were going to be used for Reycralibur. Aile x Opal was supposed to be a reboot but, since I've decided to continue Reycralibur, there's really no point. So, I'm shelving that series for now. I might come back to it in the future but, for right now, I really just want to finish Reycralibur.

Besides, I've already started a new series: SmashVine! I'm very lucky no one tried this before, making a six-second Smash machinima every week. I can use this to practice my craft in 64, Brawl, and Wii U, and still have content for my web channels. Hell, since Smash 4 is popular, I might actually get some viewers for a change. Right now, though, I'm working on the next Shoopa Smash installment. As you can guess from the teaser, it's a Crusade machinima, and the timing couldn't be more perfect: there's a new version on the way!

So there you have it: Reycralibur thirteen is on the way, Shoopa Smash is coming, and I have a new series you can watch RIGHT NOW! But hey, "machinima sucks" and I should just "do more TV stuff", right? ...Wrong, Moron. I'll do whatever I want, whenever I want to do it, and if you don't like it, you can kiss my furry, blue, ass.

*sigh* Sometimes, I love freedom of speech...

Saturday, 15 August 2015

Some Things I Noticed About City's Fall (2015) Schedule...

http://www.rogersmediatv.ca/pr_detail.php?id=1236
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First off, Bob's Burgers and Family Guy, which will move from Global. Now, Bob's Burgers isn't all that exiting, everyone knows it's nowhere on the same level of popularity as The Simpsons and Family Guy; American Dad, maybe, but not those two. Family Guy, on the hand, is very telling. The ratings don't lie, as much as I hate acknowledging this, Family Guy is past its prime and Global has taken notice. The Simpsons IS pop culture, I'd be surprised if it made it past 30 seasons, but it's gonna to be a little while longer before that show comes to an end, or loses steam, and that's what Global is counting on. In their mind, they're basically giving City used goods.

Next up is The Mindy Project, which is now flying under the Hulu banner after FOX cancelled it. I'd like to get something off my chest because you idiots thought you would never see it again, since Hulu is STILL not available in Canada, but here it is. Even it wasn't on City's schedule, it would have probably been streaming on Shomi, which will soon be out of "beta" and available to all cord cutters. All I say is, If you're too morally-righteous, or dim, to go to a back-alley pirate site or use a VPN, you have yourself to blame for missing the show. After all, why let Hulu get away with their bullcrap, when you have alternatives? Seriously, leave the TV talk to the professionals and keep your crap where I can't see it.

Then there are those homegrown Canadian shows that I'm really looking forward to. Sunnyside is really funny and unique show that I would have missed out on if FX Canada hadn't aired the show a half-hour before City aired it, which was probably when a show I'm already following was on. Meanwhile, because Rogers and CBC has improved their working relationship, they will rerun CBC's comedy Mr.D, while CBC itself airs Young Dunk Punk, another great new show that City also screwed. Seriously Rogers, you need to stop throwing your shows into the fire and give them a chance to stand on their own two feet first! Keep that shit up and FX will never be rid of those Package Deal reruns.

Finally, if you didn't notice (or if you were the above mentioned morons), take a good look at City's current lineup. That's right, the bulk of their shows were all acquired from FOX.  Co-coincidentally, City and FOX both target a younger demographic than their peers and their parent companies, Rogers and 21st Fox, co-own the Canadian FX Networks. I know I'm thinking too much, but perhaps we could be seeing the beginning of something more bigger.

...But seriously, buy a damn VPN, you morons!

Friday, 14 August 2015

Why Anime Series Won't Air in Canada Anymore

...Ratings.

...But, seriously, Canadian networks would rather air imported U.S crap than produce their own shit, let alone shit from other countries not named India or the U.K. Besides, you can just stream that shit online. But, if that's not a good enough answer for you...

First, there's the trouble of acquiring anime for broadcast. You see, children, unlike the Bleach's and Naruto's of my time, year-long continuous series, what we call "seasons" for modern shows are treated as separate series in Japan. What the english Wikipedia calls the "seventh season" of Fairy Tail and "fifth season" of Dragon Ball Kai onward, are actually separate series. You can tell this due to the time gap in their broadcast dates. In Japan, from what I learned, a series "ends" when it doesn't air in the same timeslot the following week. If new episodes air at a later date, it's treated as a new series.
In short, acquiring the entirety of Gintama, every episode ever aired so far, is the equivalent to buying three television series, and I don't think they come cheap. Of course, this is all just a theory, based on how Adult Swim acquires their titles. How else can you explain why they only have rights to the second season of The Big O, aside from the fact that they co-produced it?

Then, there's cultural differences. Just as western adult animation has the unfortunate stigma of being nothing but Simpsons-clones, Japanese anime has gone from having the stigma of being all widget-series made on crack, to having the stigma of being all tentacle-porn and fetish fuel.
In fairness, there are a lot of shows that run on drugs, and there are a LOT of harem series in the news these days, not all of them good. Sure, its OK when it's a Bollywood movie or a British drama, but even children's anime has had to put with a good deal of censorship, even changing the damn premise in some cases.

Lastly, there's finding the right broadcaster and actually broadcasting the series. Outside of Cartoon Network and Adult Swim, most networks wouldn't give anime the time of day, unless its a merchandise-driven show like Pokemon or Yu-Gi-Oh! Hell, even when they do, they will still try to fuck it up as much as possible.

Whether its YTV scheduling shows on Friday mornings, when kids have to go to school (Pokemon: Battle Dimension, Digimon Fusion, Pretty Cure), or Family Channel showing anime on Saturday mornings at times when the sun hasn't even woken up (Power Box/Jetix)! How about Teletoon's neglect to even promote their shows. Sure, now you know where Pokemon went after it left YTV, but I bet you didn't know that Buddyfight and Yu-Gi-Oh! Arc-V also aired on this channel until you read this sentence!

Really, it's too much of a hassle, for us! I say, if broadcasters don't "get it", they shouldn't air it. CBC didn't "get" Doctor Who, so now it's on Space, and by all accounts, it should stay off the CBC. Destination America doesn't "get" pro-wrestling? Fine. Let them have their ghost and goblins speculative crap, it's not like people will watch that shit instead.
If watching Panty and Stocking on Teletoon at Night or Dragon Ball Kai on YTV means I have to put up with schedule changes, censorship, and a near-butchered broadcast, I'd rather they stick to shitty live-action movies and crappy kidcoms, respectively.

So, again I ask, why complain about Canada's treatment of Anime? You can just stream that shit online.

Tuesday, 11 August 2015

Another One BITEs the Dust / RadX Ain't Radical

First it was bpm:tv, then it was Teletoon Retro, and now, if the rumors are true, a third channel will soon "bite" the dust before fall rolls around. In it's early years, Blue Ant Media's BiteTV was well known for it's interactivity and for introducing Aux, the programming block and website turned music channel. In it's later years, Bite's reruns of cult comedies, like Arrested Development, led to its rebrand, shifting focus entirely on comedies.

Nowadays, it's current offerings are no laughing matter. In a single season, Bite's acquired slate has gone from not-as-popular shows, like Brickleberry, to straight-up shunt programming, like Party Down South. Seriously, that fact that those two shows ended up here must mean that MuchMusic and the Canadian version of CMT have some level of standards. Not helping things is Bite's mediocre, if not, forgettable original offerings. The biggest highlight was Free-Loading, a cheap Tosh.0 clone, which is also saying something about the original show.

There's no doubt about it, it was Bite's time to go. If you can't find or create any unique programming that audiences can connect and relate with, you won't last long in the television business. Between the pick-and-pay revolution, the end of genre protection, and lower CanCon quotas, this hat trick of shut-downs confirms that broadcasters are in for the perfect storm, and they need to start batting down the hatches.

That being said, there's one other channel Blue Ant Media has overlooked: RadX. I've done some research and I found that this HD-only network's current lineup is little more than rehashed T+E shows. It's absolutely redundant since T+E is also available in HD. The other networks in Blue Ant's portfolio are also guilty of recycling shows, as are the networks of Shaw Media, but never before have I seen a network that was actually made up of shows already airing on another network.

There's not much that needs to be said, if BiteTV gets shutdown, RadX needs to go with it.

Thursday, 6 August 2015

After The End of Teletoon Retro

I think Teletoon has caught on to the fact that people would rather watch classic cartoons on Teletoon Retro than ANYTHING on the mothership network nowadays. So, instead of bitching, complaining, and bemoaning the fact that one of the only cable networks worth subscribing to will be shutting down at the end of the Summer, let's find the canary in the coal mine and see what good can come from this.

First and foremost, we can assume that Corus Entertainment will divvy up the shows on Retro and air them on their other kids networks.The bulk of their shows will most likely move to Teletoon; I know from watching one of the channel's ads that The Smurfs is heading there. That's great news to hear since the majority of Teletoon's lineup was reruns of original shows that didn't really age well (barring Jimmy Two-Shoes, which apparently has a cult following). The addition of classic cartoons will definitely draw in new viewers and leave a little room for their current lineup of shows to shine, though I highly doubt people are getting hyped up for another season of Dr. Dimensionpants.

Babar and the Berenstain Bears will probably return to Treehouse and Dexter's Lab and The Powerpuff Girls to Cartoon Network, despite the latter previously airing on Teletoon prior to the return of Camp Teletoon. But wouldn't it be nice if the latter two shows returned to YTV instead? That's another network in dire need of some decent shit because, like I said before, anything on Teletoon is better than what's on YTV. Anything.

I also believe broadcasting companies can benefit from operating fewer channels, since that will eliminate the need to recycle shows, reduce brand overlap, and save a few dimes. The majority of all cancon on Shaw Media's networks are all the same shit; MTV2 is more akin to a BET network than a MTV sibling, and Rogers would be a few bucks richer if they would just shut down G4, a channel that no one watches and has made little efforts to get noticed. So, I do believe shutting down Retro is for the best.

But don't be fooled, this not being done in the interest to "service" us, nor does it have anything to do with Corus' commitment "to [provide] high quality, award winning programming for Canadian kids and their families". This is a business decision, plain and simple, and they could give a shit less what you think. Cancon requirements will soon be lowered and genre-protection will become a thing of the past. The decision to close Teletoon Retro and incorporate its programming into its siblings will be a benefit to Corus' Kids division as long as they don't fuck it up.

However, the trade-off is that Canadian networks will soon become a lot more shittier.

Wednesday, 5 August 2015

A REEL Ztinker

There's a reason why Music networks don't play music or why tech and gaming networks don't play genre-realated shows, because its too narrow a genre and that shit can be found on internet at any given time. ReezChannel was supposed to be about Hollywood, movies, and celebrities; what E! used to be when it was known as Movietime (not to be confused with the Canadian channel formally known as Lone Star). It's not that they were doing a bad job at first, the problem was, there's was just no point in a channel like that existing.

So now, Reez is in the unique position to air whatever the hell they want as long as it drives viewership. Enter shit-awful reality shows so cheep they make the shit on TruTV look original. I haven't watched any of them (who would?), so I know I'm being unfair, but with names like "The Capones", "Hollywood Hillbillies", and "Beverly Hills Pawn" (One of the last shows to air on MuchMore before becoming M3, by the way), you can tell this was C-list fodder at its worst.

Ironically, re-runs of TruTV's Full Throttle Saloon and Storage Hunters used to air on this channel, and I think that helped them realize that, rather than produce shitty reality shows for their channel, they should air shitty reality shows from other channels. Hence, their current schedule of criminology crap. That's seriously a pet peeve of mine. If wanted to watch those kinds of shows, there are a dozen networks to do so. Unless your name is A&E, I don't need to see that crap here!

At this point, I'd like to remind you that this is supposed to be a network about Hollywood-related shows, none of which we talked about in this post. Of course, you can't blame Reez for trying to make movies work, seeing as how "Race to the Scene" was a thing; nothing they do seems to work. To my knowledge, the only noteworthy programs Reelz aired were The Kennedys, a controversial miniseries that was going to air on History (but was only aired on the Canadian version) and the recent Miss USA pageant, which NBC dropped after Donald Trump pulled a Donald Trump.

The only shows on Reelz worth a damn are Access Hollywood, OK! TV, TMZ Sports, Celebrated, and Dish Nation; since those are the only shows that have anything to do with the channel's original purpose. That being said, I think it's time for Reelz to take a page from E!'s playbook. First, they need to find reruns of shows worth a damn, instead of this docu-drama crap. Then, they need to start producing more bolder, more clever, original programs. If necessary, only if necessary, they'll have to abandon Hollywood and start focusing more on movies and celebrities, because that seems to be the only thing that drives ratings.

Those are just my two cents, I really couldn't give less of a damn for channel dedicated to Hollywood crap. Now, a video game-centric channel, that's I want to see. Too bad Ginx is only available in the U.K.